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May 19.

My mother died long ago on May 19, 2000.I cant stop thinking of her, things like would she be proud, that im 18 ive grown up so much. all that i can do is cry, and think of her. its a good thing im doing this or so I like to tell myself that, because i do so badly want to remember everything. her smile, eyes, heartbeat, touch. just every little thing you could ever think of. I want. I need this woman to come back, for me to wake up and it be just a bad dream, although i know it can never be that way, ill always hope for something like it. She was my life my everything. the guidance i need now more than anything. i love her, so much. and miss her everyday of every second. Shes never left my heart nor soul not even for a second. My mind clustered with things of her, things i push and strive to keep back. Final Fantasy 7 has been my favorite game ever ive been ploaying it sincee i was really little. In the Advert Children movie theres always a part that makes me cry and its when cloud says, "But i let you die.." that part always makes me think of my mother, because even so young i did nothing to help. But maybe being there was enough, I love my mother...and i miss her like crazy...

My mother was close enough to being perfect than any i know.

She was angel, a true angel....

Amanda Saint
Cullman, AL

Second Anniversary AND I'M STILL HERE!

Praise the Lord! I celebrated my 51st birthday yesterday and also the 2nd anniversary of the CT scan that revealed my breast cancer. (Stage IV Metastatic ductal carcinoma)

I'm still here! And, it's almost time for the next mammogram and hoping that the mass is smaller and no more are detected.

Go get 'em girls!

Cynthia
Garner, NC

Life is not forever, but LOVE is...

Joanne Campbell, wife, friend and mother of three beautiful daughters lost her courageous 2 year battle with breast cancer on September 22, 2008 at age 49. Jo passed away just 6 days before our oldest daughter was to be married. She was no doubt looking down on her family on the day of the wedding. Jo fought and endured the treatment regimen of Stage IV bc, knowing the realistic prognosis. She did this with great courage, love, sacrifice, commitment and above all, selflessness. The last 2 years of our short 30 year life together were probably the best. Jo lived life to the fullest and she acknowledged the blessing of each important milestone she experienced during this challenging 2 years. During Jo's battle we walked in honor of her for 2 years at the Lowell General Hospital TeamWalk for CancerCare annual event. On May 17th, 2009, we walked not only in her memory but also to support the lives of many patients being treated at this wonderful community based Cancer Center. The life improving services provided to these courageous women and men enduring their treatments is a direct result of the caring and loving concern by the community as well as the patients and caregivers that participate in the event. Although my wife lost her battle, she never gave up the fight and my daughters and I will continue her inspirational fight by continuing to help support the lives of the local community. Jo's LOVE will indeed last forever. To all those suffering with this disease as well as the caregivers that support them, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Kevin Campbell
Chelmsford, MA

My Best Friend

For 42 years I was lucky enough to have the same best friend. I called her Chrissy, to everyone else who loved her, she was Eileen, which was her real name. For 20 of those 42 years, she battled breast cancer. She was a real trooper. Raising 2 boys by herself, which isn't easy when you're healthy! Working full-time until about 3 years ago when she reluctantly realized that she had to slow down. She had 3 younger sisters, and after these girls lost both parents to this horrible disease,

Chrissy made it her job to keep everyone together as a family, not easy when the family core is gone. Making sure holidays, birthdays, and anything else important, were spent together. It was about 8 months ago that her body began to react negatively to all it had gone through. Radiation, chemo, more chemo, a different chemo, more radiation, more chemo... and there she was, still caring for all those around her, she never let herself come first, no matter how hard we tried to care for her. My brave, beautiful, best friend lost her fight at 7:25 am, today, May 18, 2009. Please, whoever may read this, just take a minute to wish her well on her journey. Thank you.

Chrissy, I love you tons and always.

Boo

Arlene Sanborn
Vallejo, CA

My Mother

My Mother was Wendy English and she lost her fight to breast cancer. She had breast cancer on and off for about six or seven years. I was eleven years old when she died and i was lucky. My dad let me spend the last two weeks of her life with her in Boston. She was an amazing mother and my best friend. She loved me with all of her heart and she was so sad when she wasnt able to take part in the avon walk for breast cancer in 2006. She died on April 17th 2006 at the age of 42 and it broke my heart. iIwas so angry at everyone for letting and 11 year old girls mother die of an awful monster that took over her body. Now i see that i cant change that, but i can do my part to try to not have any other little girls lose there mom, or anyone for that matter. I want to support the cure for breast cancer as much as i can. I own so many things from the breast cancer store. I am 14 years old now, and im ready to help people fight breast cancer for my mother.

Tori
Pleasantville, NY

MY STORY

Devastated when i discovered a lump in my left breast i thought life was over .There followed a mastectomy(seemed to be the normal thing in those days) I was 42 years old and it was 1982. the trauma was the worst thing really as i had had no pain.No treatment was required i was told.About 2 years later i found another lump, same place so i underwent radiotherapy.All seemed well until 7 years later i found another lump in my right breast which again was malignent.A mastectomy followed after which i had chemotherapy.I took tamoxifen for over 5years. I am now aged 68 and although the trauma was difficult to deal with iwas lucky to have a good family and friends to help me through.

I thought i would share my story with you as when i first had cancer at 42 years old i was introduced to an old lady (in the hospital actually) who had gone through breast cancer 20 years before and had survived (she was in hospital for a completely different problem) Her story gave me hope and i seemed able to carry on more easily.

I hope i do the same for someone out there going through the same as i did I actially feel quite blessed in a funny kind of way .There can be life after breast cancer -- i am here to prove it. Good luck!

pat rimmer
southport england, United Kingdom

It can happen to anyone...

April 2007... I had my prescription for my annual mammogram in my wallet for close to a year the paper was looking worn and being due for my annual gyn appt and not wanting to get told about not going I thought I better get this done. Two mammograms, ultrasound and biopsy later, going for my appt to get my results that surely were 98% looking like nothing I was told "I didn't think I'd be telling you this but you have breast cancer... not one but two types. My thoughts were "I must be in the wrong room... not me.. no history, no health problems,etc.... I don't want to be in the "pink club" no thanks.."

After digesting this info... making appts with oncologists, surgeons, etc and wanting "this out of me as soon as possible" I had bilateral mastectomies at age 45.... (i dont need them anyway , right!) lucky for me... all lymph nodes were negative and after multiple scans no mets.not feeling whole for a year I decided to have reconstructive surgery last May...

Now being a survivor.. I can see the reason for the "pink club".... for anyone that has not lived this, I wish you never do.. but I have now put myself on a mission to assure everyone I know and don't know get your annual mammogram and do not wait as this can be caught and corrected!!

Anonymous
Sweet Valley, PA

Too Young? Never.

I was 37 at the time I was told I had Breast Cancer. I had been watching a spot on my left breast for about two weeks and called the doctor. I had problems with lumps for years but this was different. I went in for a mammo on a Wednesday and was told the doctor would have the results within a few days. By Friday he still did not have the results. On Monday he called me and told me to come in ( well we all know what that means. Bad News.) but before he could tell me, I told him.

Feb. 16, I had a biopsy and it was the C word. I was mad. I'm a non-smoker, don't drink much, exercise and eat pretty good. Well C doesn't care about any of that. After 4 days of crying and being mad, trying to understand why because it wasn't in my family history I said Lets get on with it and so waht has to be done. I have too much to do and have two kids to finish raising.

Feb. 27, 1989, I underwent a Bi-Lateral Mastectomy with reconstruction. The real breast were sagging so the new ones would be firm. I also went through 6 treatments of chemo.

We all get through our troubles in our our way. For me it was to talk about it and to try to help others. Most importantly, I had and have Faith in God and that was the biggest thing that got me through along with my family.

It's been 20 years now and I'm still here. I never say it wouldn't come back, so I live each and every day to the fullest and I'm enjoying my family and sports.

Keep the Faith.

Amanda M.
Baton Rouge, LA

Stronger than I thought

I was nursing my daughter when I noticed that my right breast seemed harder than the left. Because I was nursing I thought it was just something to do with the milk flow and forgot about it. After a month or so it was getting harder in fact it was painful. So I did a self exam and found that the whole bottom of my breast was hard. When I finally got into the doctor she said that it didn't seem like anything but that we would get a mammogram anyway. I had never had once since I am only 33. The tech almost didn't do the test since I was still nursing, but I insisted. Thankfully. After the radiologist looked at the films they canceled the ultrasound and told me that I would have to get a biopsy. The nurse told me not to worry. I found out on May 5th that I had breast cancer. I got an appointment with the surgeon that day, as fast as we could get there. I had no option for a lumpectomy since the area of cancer was more than half of my breast. Within 9 days I had the mastectomy. Then I found out that I was HER2 positive and would need chemo. I was devastated. Again. Now I have finished my chemo, and survived. It's hard to lose your hair, and no one who hasn't been through it will understand. It's temporary, but you ARE beautiful inside, and it's your life that matters, not your makeup, hair or chest. Your friends may disappear, they love you, but may not know how to deal with this. Sometimes you may have to remind them that they can call you. Be strong, you can survive this.

Star S
Colorado Springs, CO

Importance of mammograms

I was diagnosed with ductal cancer in situ recently. It was an aggressive form and had spread throughout the breast, but there was no lump. I had a mastectomy and senitnel node biopsy a month ago and am doing well. Thanks to early dectection, all of the cancer was removed with surgery and I don't need to have radiation or chemotherapy. I am so grateful not to have to go through months of treatment. Recovery from surgery was uneventful and not too painful. I am now able to return to my life and my normal level of activity.

Anonymous
Albuquerque, NM
Midnight Garden Socks
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