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Going To My First Military Reunion Has Me Both Anxious and Excited

It has been 45 years since I left Vietnam.  Much has happened during that time, of course.  I married, had two daughters and now, two, soon to be three, grandchildren.  I got an education and had a career in teaching at both the high school and university levels. And now, I am very pleasantly retired.

Another thing happened over that period of time as well.  I did everything in my power to put my wartime experiences behind me.  I never mentioned my service in the beginning, as it would always cause me more trouble than good in the social environments of the late 60's and early 70's.  I just "went on with my life."  I would, of course, every now and then, remember a face, or a wound I cared for while there.  But it seems my psyche defended itself from the deep emotional pains of those events by forgetting all of the names of my fellow Marines and Corpsman.  All that is, but one. 


Ted R., another Navy Corpsman and I, arrived in country at the same time in January of 1968 and were assigned to Bravo Co. 3rd Recon Bn., 3rd Marine Division, which at that time was in Khe Sanh.  We went into Khe Sanh on the same plane and were welcomed by artillery and mortar fire on our arrival at that forward base; the Tet Offensive had begun.  We would endure and survive 77 days of that before going back to the sprawling Marine Corps base at Quang Tri where we began going out on regular 8 man Recon patrols.  Toward the end of our 13 month tour we were assigned to the Regimental Medical facility where we cared for Marines post surgeries, and in recovery from wounds.  We were supposed to leave country at about the same time, but Ted got an appendicitis attack and left a couple of weeks before me.

I never saw or heard from him again, until just before Christmas of last year.  He found me on the internet and contacted me by phone.  He still sounded the same.  He had that rapid fire, Pittsburg, blue-collar-accented way of speech.  He was excited to have found me---and I was just as excited to hear from him.

I am not a joiner.  I did not join the VFW or any of the other veterans groups.  I did not want to keep reliving the memories, if you know what I mean.  I have nothing against those wonderful organizations.  I just have an allergic reaction to joining any organization.  There is some deep psychological reason for that too, I suppose.  The only thing I did during this time that took me back to those memories was to visit the Vietnam Memorial in 1988, twenty years after I left that War.  That experience was so overwhelming that on my return home I went back into my psychologically protective shell.  

To come to more recent times, when I retired almost two years ago, I was invited to write this blog column for this wonderful charity site.  It has given me an opportunity to do something positive for my fellow veterans.  It has given me a sense of purpose and meaningful work.  But it has also, slowly, given me the opportunity to be proud of my military service, to reclaim it as a positive part of my life experience.

My Corpsman friend has invited me to attend the annual reunion of the 3rd Recon Association this year in Nashville, Tennessee this coming August.  As I said in the title of this article I am both anxious and excited about going.  I am anxious, because I do not know what the emotional impact might be.  But I am excited to see those men, who I remember as teenagers or early 20 somethings, who are now men in their 60s.  I am excited about hearing what they did with their lives in the last 45 years.  I can not help but wonder what their memories are.  Do they remember me?  Did I dress their wounds when they were injured?  All those things.  What memories that I have blocked out for so long will they bring back to me?  

The one thing I know for sure is that we have all lived our lives and learned a lot about life that we could not have known back then when we were so young and at war.  Our memories of Vietnam will be tempered, and the pains will have long since been replaced by mature insights and the memories that crowd long lives.   It will be good to be with them again at this time of my life.  I know there will be good times had by all.  I will write more about it during and after the event.  I am sure there will be many a great story to be told.  

To those who fought, and those who died with 3rd Recon, 3rd Marines let me offer my brotherly, Semper Fi!

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